Thursday, September 11, 2008

What to expect from this blog

I think I made it abundantly clear in my initial post to this blog, but just in case the point was missed by some of you, I will never be confused with a great writer. If we're being completely truthful, (and I think we can be), I will never be confused for a mediocre writer. No, that's still not entirely true. Basically, I'm pretty much semi-literate. If it weren't for spell-checker, you'd have a better chance of understanding this if I wrote it in Chinese. And dear God, don't even get me started on grammar and punctuation. For example, you might have noticed that I tend to use a lot of commas. This is just the eighth sentence in this posting, and I've already used 10 commas. I don't know why this is. I'm very much aware that I use too many commas. And yet I can't help myself. These are the just the kind of things you are going to have to learn to tolerate, (11), if you hope to get any sort of enjoyment from these post.

But even with these readily admitted to shortcomings and disabilities as a writer, I have chosen to start a blog. So, what can my readers expect. I can summarize that in one simple word; sarcasm. Sarcasm, beautiful sarcasm. It is my concerted opinion that sarcasm is a much underrated and much under-appreciated skill. It is not widely known, but I happen to be a 7th level, Master Practitioner, of the Ancient Art of Sarcasm. Like a finely crafted sword, when used properly, the expertly crafted sarcastic phrase can be deadly. It can bring a spirited debate to a quick, sudden, and decisive end. With a single sarcastic phrase, you can not only express your views on a point of contention, but you can also express a thinly disguised opinion that the person you are debating is a moron for not agreeing with you.

And while I may be practiced in the sarcastic arts, I am but a mere impostor when it comes to the true master of the science of sarcasm. That would be the one, the only, my true leader, The Fat Cyclist. For those of you who have not yet discovered the fine work of one Eldon Nelson, aka, The Fat Cyclist, aka, Fatty, as he likes to be called by his friends, (wow, that's 6 commas within about 4 inches of text), I strongly recommend you add his blog to your list. Win Susan Win! I only recently discovered his writings a couple of months ago, and as soon as I started reading his post, I knew I had found a kindred spirit. He yields sarcasm like Luke Skywalker yields a light saber. If you do read his post, you will undoubtedly notice some similarities between his writing style and mine. That would be the rather liberal use of sarcasm. I take this as a compliment. Fatty will probably see this as grounds for some sort of legal action against me. I'm hoping that by freely admitting my admiration for his work here, I am protecting myself from any potential legal cause of action. But we'll see.

Much like the readers of The Fat Cyclist, my readers can expect commentary on a wide assortment of cycling related topics. (Notice how I naively assume that I will have readers.) I'll be commenting on pro cycling, amateur cycling, cycling products, the cycling culture in general, and a lot of comments on my own personal cycling experiences. I probably will be doing a lot of complaining about how other people ride. But in a hopefully entertaining, sarcastic sort of way. Getting back to the commentary on cycling products. Here is where Fatty and I will differ. While Fatty doesn't openly invite people to send him cycling related products to comment on, I am now giving an open invitation to anyone who makes or sells anything that might be cycling related, to go ahead and send me one. Shoot, send me a box of them. I promise to use the product and to take up my valuable post space giving my honest opinion of what I think about it. I can't promise I'll like it. But I can promise to mention it in my postings, thereby exposing your product to what will probably be 10's of readers.

In tomorrow's post, I promise to actually talk about cycling. Just in case you were wondering, I used a total of 52 commas in this post.

Peace out.....Nearly Famous Fred

1 comment:

Cliff said...

Good God don't read Bike Snob NY!

Keep the rubberside down and I hope to see you in Greenville.