Saturday, August 15, 2009

OK, let's try this again

Over the last few months, I've made a startling discovery about myself. There's the very real possibility that I may be lazier than even I had thought. I might be lazier than I thought was humanly possible. The reason I gave myself, (whenever I asked myself), for stopping posting to this blog was that "I'm just way too busy to write a blog. I've just got too much going on to take the time to write every day."

But as I started examining my day to day activities, I made the aforementioned startingly discovery. While I certainly had a lot that needed to get done, I very rarely actually did any of those things. If I had actually done, or even attempted to do, any of the many things that I needed to do, then yes, I would have been very busy.

As those of you who have spent, i.e...wasted, any of your time reading this blog in the past can attest to, I am a self-confessed very lazy person. I haven't seen any official ratings, but I very well could be the laziest person. I'm certainly in the top 10.

I recently heard someone actually say the following:

"I just can't sit still and do nothing. That would just drive me crazy!"

As this person said these words, I became very confused. I recognized the words as being English, and I knew what each individual word meant. But as they were constructed into sentences, they just didn't make any sense to me. I've spent the greater part of my life striving towards "sit still and doing nothing". Call it a dream if you will. The fact that I have so much that needs to get done, yet I spend an amazingly large percentage of my time avoiding actually doing anything, only serves to amplify my laziness.

You see, there are two schools of thought on laziness. First, there is the person who doesn't really have anything to do, and doesn't invest any time in actually looking for something to do. Let's call this person the Entry Level Lazy Person. It's a good place to start, but it takes no real self discipline to achieve. Basically, you have nothing to do, and you spend most of your time not doing it. Pretty easy.

Existing on a whole other level, is the Advanced Lazy Person. This is the category that I surprisingly find myself in. This is the person, that while they have a lot that needs to be done, they have the self discipline to force themselves not to do it. They have the drive to remain sitting in their big leather man-chair and do nothing, all the while, any number of task remain to be completed. They have the internal fortitude to ignore the guilt of letting deadlines pass, and still continue to watch TV. It's pretty damned heroic if you think about it.

I tell you this because I've been getting the itch to start posting to this blog again. As a card carrying Advanced Lazy Person, I find this extremely annoying. I've been perfectly content over the last several months, to sit around and do nothing, (aside from riding my bike every chance I get), and now I've got this nagging urge to get up and go do something. Personally, I view this as some sort of failure on my part. I've resisted the urge to actually accomplish something for so long, and now I just have to get up and get something done. It's like the last few months of doing nothing have been wasted.

So here's the deal. Since I'm still clinging to the idea that I'm just too busy to post to this blog everyday, (self delusion can really be a very handy thing), I'm going to make this a weekly column. I will post to this blog once a week, probably on Saturday evenings. If I happened to stumble across something that I just have to write about before the weekend, then I'll post a Nearly Famous Fred Special Edition. Even I, being as lazy as I am, should be able to come up with something, (hopefully something entertaining, but I make no guarantees), just once a week. We'll see how that goes.

OK, I've been typing for almost 15 consecutive minutes now. I should probably go take a nap.

Peace out.....Nearly Famous Fred

No comments: