Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Behold, my new super power...

Sometimes, life surprises you in the most unexpected ways.

As a big time, famous writer of a free Internet cycling blog, I knew there would be certain benefits. The parties with rock stars. The world travel. Hanging out with professional athletes. Dating super models. And don't even get me started on the money. All of these were benefits that I certainly anticipated. But the other day, I discovered a bonus "super power" benefit of writing this blog.

As a writer of a cycling blog, I read a lot of other cycling blogs. When you sign up to write a blog, I believe that you are required to read as many other cycling blogs as you can squeeze into your day.
I actually think it's a rule. So, during my hours and hours of reading other blogs, I have made an amazing discovery.

Apparently, without any sort of formal training or education in writing or literature, I am now qualified, ney obligated, to offer my opinions and critique of the work of other, actual real writers. I say this because I have noticed several other cycling blogs offering book reviews of real books, written by real writers.

This is amazing. I have taken no classes in writing. I have never published any sort of written work. I have never been paid to write a single word. The only thing that even remotely qualifies me to review an actual book, is that I know how to read. That puts me in the same category as approximately 200 million other people on the face of the earth. And yet, by signing up for a free blog site through Blogger, I apparently have been endowed with the super power to legitimately criticize the work of real, published writers. Since I write a free blog, it appears that my opinion now matters. I could sign my cat up for a free blog, have him walk on the keyboard for a few minutes, and his review would be just about as legitimate as mine.

While I don't understand why I now have this power, don't think for a second that I'm not going to take advantage of it. I do read just about every book on cycling that gets published. If you're now telling me that people are going to actually listen to what I have to say about those books, you're darn right I'm going to offer an opinion.

I bet all of those people who spent 4 years and thousands of dollars getting literary degrees, really feel like chumps now.

So while I was contemplating my new super power, and how I might abuse it for my own personal gain, I couldn't help but think about what other super powers I might now have. Here's my wish list:

1) Ninja powers. Besides offering a huge upside for personal gain, I happen to look great in black.

2) The power to be a fashion trend setter. If I have it my way, we'll all be wearing shorts and flip flops to work next week.

3) The ability to speak like the late, great, soul singer, Barry White. I'm not particularly interested in singing like Barry White, just talking like him. Think about it. How many times in a normal day do you get the opportunity to sing. If you just start signing during a normal conversation, people tend to think you're nuts.

4) Really good posture. I've always had really bad posture. But I can't see how I could use this to my advantage. It's kind of hard to get rich, based solely on good posture.

5) X-Ray vision. This goes back to my teenage years. All you men out there know what I'm talking about. Guys never really grow up.

I'm sure there are a lot of other super powers that I could wish for, but these are the ones that immediately come to mind. I'm a man of simple needs.

I'm currently about halfway through a cycling book right now. So you can look forward to a review in the near future.

Now, were do I pickup my mask and cape?

Peace out.....Nearly Famous Fred

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