Monday, February 9, 2009

You're all just jealous

In the "new super power" post that I wrote last week, I mentioned that one of the super powers that I would like to have, would be to be a fashion trend setter. To be that person who sets the standard for what others want to wear, is something that I think would be extremely cool. Those who know me may find this unusual, in that I am a person who has never been particularly interested in being on the fashion leading edge.

That lack of interest is reflected daily in what I wear to work. Working for Southwest Airlines as I do, we have an extreeemely casual dress code, even in our headquarters building were I work. During the warm months of the year, I wear a t-shirt, shorts, and flip-flops to work every day. During the cool months, I wear a t-shirt, blue jeans, and Skeechers to work everyday. Aside from picking a t-shirt to wear on a given day, I typically don't invest hours putting together an outfit in the morning.

So, it's not that I want to wear anything different than what I do now, I just think everyone else should admire what I'm already wearing, and want to dress just like me. However,
recent events have led me to believe that this goal, while admirable, may be just out of my reach.

During this time of the year, on Saturday mornings, I can be found getting up early and going to a 8:00am spin class at Bikin Mike's Spin Studio. As a spin class is not the sort of event that I feel a great need to get all dressed up for, I usually roll out of bed, put on a pair of cycling bib shorts and a t-shirt. As what little hair I have remaining is completely out of control
this time of the morning, a hat is usually selected as well. In the past, my Skeechers or flip-flops are usually the last to go on. At 6:30am on a Saturday morning, I don't care what I look like. As I roll into spin class, that attitude shows.

Regarding footwear, I recently purchased my first pair of Crocs. For those who don't know what Crocs are, first of all crawl out from under whatever rock you've been hiding under. Crocs are basically a molded, soft plastic, slipper. They are extremely comfortable, and these days, extremely popular. As I were to find out, they're extremely popular everywhere but Bikin' Mike's Spin Studio.

For the past two Saturdays, I have been the subject of teasing and ridicule in the spin studio that would have brought a lesser man to tears, simply for wearing my very comfortable, and very fashionable Crocs. Below is a picture of my new red Crocs:

I included the tape measure in the photograph to give you a sense of the scale of these shoes. That's exactly twelve inches of measuring tape in the picture. At 6'3", 190 lbs, I am a big guy. Consequently, I wear a size 12 shoe. Not being completely blind to fashion coordination, I chose red to go with the black and red jerseys worn by Team Bikin.

Below is just a small sampling of the comments I heard at this past Saturday's spin class:

"When did the Circus get to town?"

"Wear did you park your little car, and were are the 14 friends that rode with you?"

"How often do you have to replace the batteries in those?"

"Was Trish with you when you bought those?"

Even Bikin Mike chimed in with his comment, "This is a serious spin class. No clowning around!"

I probably would have had to put up with a little less cr@p, if I had just worn swim fins to class.

To be completely honest, the entire outfit that I wore two Saturday's ago, probably didn't do anything to lessen the huge amount of ridicule that I was forced to endure.


When she saw this outfit, my own wife offered up the comment, "What insane asylum did you wander off from?"

Now keep in mind, I'm not going to a wedding dressed like this. Personally, I think this is just a magnificent coordination. You of course have the striking red of the Crocs, set off by the contrast of the burnt orange University of Texas Longhorn sleep pants. You then throw in the blue and gray polyester hoodie. Completing the outfit, is the red knit cap, complete with the striking logo of the greatest soccer team in the history of the world, FC Bayern Munchen. This outfit just screams, "I like what I like, but I really don't know what I'm doing."

So, to those in spin class who felt the need to make fun of this outfit, and my snazzy new Crocs, I say cast not the first stone. This summer, we're all going to be riding outdoors again. Some of those same people are going to be looking for a wheel to draft off of. At 6'3", 190 lbs, I cut a nice hole through the wind. You're all going to sound extremely silly swearing an oath of admiration and loyalty to my red Crocs.

Peace out.....Nearly Famous Fred.

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